I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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