Rock
Scissors
Fuck
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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