You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
