that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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