i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
