In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
