i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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