The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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