talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
