help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
my liver is dry heaving
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
