so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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