brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
