are you so shy because you have an std?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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