We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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