He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
