how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
