did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
