there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
