Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
