id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
