Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
