your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
