you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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