How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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