I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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