Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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