While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
