Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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