so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
