I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
