i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My vagina is very pro this idea
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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