respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
