Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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