I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
