just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Please don't give away my fajitas
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
