Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
