yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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