Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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