i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize