I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
