Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It's rum buckets o'clock
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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