mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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