Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
