i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Boobs speak an international language.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
