in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
