His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
