doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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