The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
