I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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