what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Come see our sink grown plant.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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