Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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