I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize