I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
