just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
