Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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