some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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