THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
