My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
