bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize