my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
