Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
