OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
