i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize