My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize