i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
